Hedge Fund is Paradise

万博app网页版您认为，投资银行从来都不是您的热情。在看到您的MD＆VP公然推销了稀释的并购汇款后，您知道自己在职业生涯中的目标比成为投资银行家更有目标。实际上，您一直认为自己是一位精致的投资者，而不是某些交易流量机。

After all, your one big investment in Apple stock at age 16 now has handsomely quintupled the S&P 500's returns since you've finished up your analyst stint. This track record alone has assured you that your resume has more upside than being aTMT合伙人Goldman.

您正在前往Buyside。

While all of yourpeers atGShave made arrangements to switch over to private equity, you've decided against it. No, Private equity is just banking 2.0, and only cowards hide their true risk-adjusted underperformance behind years of illiquidity, homegrown return-smoothing, and solicited "Me-Too" fairness opinions from Big 4 plebs. In fact, you believe that all prospects who biblically refer toPE因为“应许之地”与准备被全能者屠杀的一群绵羊没有什么不同。

不能是你。No, instead, you've spent your time courting with a top-tier hedge fund. You're willing to take a chance on yourself that your investing acumen (Apple stock 'Buy' at 16) will be far more lucrative at a long-short fund than being chained to aleveraged buyoutdesk. You're planned to start on the buyside next month.

Meanwhile, it's been hard for you to keep your plans to yourself the last few weeks at Goldman. Instead of grinding out time-sensitive slide decks, you've decided to start watching HBO's drama series called, "Billions". After all, it would be smart for you to learn more about the hedge fund culture so you can hit the ground running when you start. As you continue to watch "Billions", you become even more fixated, and perhaps obsessed, with one character in specific. His name is Bobby Axelrod, the series protagonist and CEO of Axe Capital. You often smile while watching him, surmising that you and him aren't all that different in life.

IB的最后一天

Finally your last day at investment banking came. You realize that you've only felt more excited once before in your life - the day you updated your LinkedIn profile to "Incoming Investment Banking Summer Analyst atGoldman Sachs（（"NYC") your sophomore year in college after you got your official offer letter. Time flies by. However, today, now that you're much older and mature, you've decided not to alert your LinkedIn network as pompously as you did when landing Goldman. No, instead this time, you decided to change your job title to "Analyst at NYC-based Hedge Fund". That way, you don't seem as obtrusive at surface level. You'd rather subtly prompt all of your friends and colleagues to ponder over exactly what NYC-based hedge fund you work at. If there's anything you learned in banking, it's that secrecy and confusion are the greatest forms of prestige.

这就是方式。

First Three Months at the Fund

During the first 3 months at the fund, you are completely stoked. You feel delighted in the fact that you get to keep telling your friends and family that you work at one of the big brand-name hedge funds. Also you get a kick out of telling people that you're an "ex-Goldman" employee (which clearly sounds even more prestigious than actually working at Goldman). You consider your Portfolio Manager (PM) to be a prophetic wizard, as everything he tells you is nothing less than God's command. "I'll be just like him someday", you think, as you do a quick calculation in your head estimating how much he'd be worth assuming a 2-20 fee structure.

You spend most of your time analyzing data and reading sell-side research reports. Your PM seems to prefer the reports published by the analyst atBank of America。但是，您不能停止认为，卖方分析师和二等公民共同的唯一一件事是，他们俩都以“ S” - “ S”开始。您嘲笑卖方，因为他们不交易或投资想法，只能像一些小女孩的日记一样写关于它们的文章。不能是你。您还了解了夏普的比例是什么，您发现您的PM今年有1.9夏普，这使您坚信自己正在为行业的下一个史蒂夫·科恩（Steve Cohen）工作。

这就是方式。

Six Months In

Your PM starts to trust you and gives you a small book to trade. Using your top tierIB+ AAPL 'Buy' knowledge, you're able to make a little coin in the markets by longing FAANG stocks and shorting Utilities. You got this idea from watching Jim Cramer's Mad Money show the other day. He went to Harvard, after all, so great minds think alike. You also learn that your PM's Sharpe rose to 2.2 this quarter. You start laughing, thinking about how absurdly wrong your college professors were to teach the "Efficient Market Hypothesis". That's probably why they've been rambling on in academics while you're about to triple their total comp as a first year analyst. They're the only group of people that you pity more than the sell-side analysts.

这就是方式。

one Year In

你知道你的奖金只会基础的5%。What!? Even though your small book did well, you realized that your team ended the year flat. Apparently your PM's Sharpe dropped to 0.59 at the end of last quarter off a few missed earnings and weaker-than-expected management guidance. You initially feel worried about this but your PM promises that it's just a hiccup and that next year will be much better. Meanwhile, in order to gain self-approval over your decision to join a hedge fund, you look at LinkedIn to see what your peers are up to. It looks like most are still on the buyside. However, you find yourself spending more time looking at your other college friends, the ones who took jobs at Big 4 audit and consulting. You notice they got promoted to second-level. Initially you fear something dangerous but after a quick Glassdoor search at their new salaries, your trepidation swiftly subsided. You exhale and sleep soundly at night, confirming that your base salary alone is doubling their entire income.

这就是方式。

1。2Years In

The fund has been off to a great start for the new year. Your book is beating the market and you start salivating at the year-end when you clear that mid-six-figure bonus. This feeling overrides your subtle concerns over the fact that you've noticed quite a few people at the fund have recently disappeared. Even the other guy from your Goldman analyst class suddenly left. However, after seeing this, you soothingly explain to yourself, "They must've gotten poached by Bill Ackman. Good for them." Also during this time, you've realized that your PM's trading strategy is entirely based on theBOFA的建议's sell-side analyst. Suddenly, you no longer believe your PM is the market guru you initially thought. "I could do better than my PM", you say as you realize your Sharpe clocked out at 2.1 last quarter. From now on, you look at your PM with utter contempt whenever he asks for your help. Your contemptuous demeanor elicits a questionable face from your PM, but only for a fleeting moment as he is too dialed in on beating the market to care for your disdain.

1。5Years In

Things have taken a turn for the worst. Your portfolio was not positioned correctly for some high volatility, macro event and the pod is now hemorrhaging money. You see your PM constantly on the phone with BofA's analyst, seeking comfort. Compliance meets with your group to scale back the risk and your fund is trying to stomach a drawdown. Apparently, the news of your fund's situation leaked to a few of yourPEfriends. Trying to maintain the status that you're more sophisticated and lucrative than them, you regurgitate the career-saving axiom, "Well, we're long-short in the market so we're supposed to underperform the S&P 500." You fail to provide anymore color into what's going on.

1。7Years In

您到达办公室，注意到您的PM不在他的桌子上。奇怪的是，由于您的2个股份应该报告今天的收益。在午餐期间，人力资源通知您您的PM已被放开，他们正试图在基金中为您找到另一个座位。立即，您开始认为这笔基金注定要炸毁。您开始与尽可能多的其他资金接触，看看是否可以在那里扮演角色。

1。8年

您能够晋升为另一个基金。您将LinkedIn标题将其更改为“基于格林威治的对冲基金的高级分析师”，确保您打开“警告我的新工作变更网络”。您很高兴您现在拥有一个在您的下面工作的大三学生，并相信所有坏事都是过去。大三学生似乎钦佩您的投资敏锐度。这就是方式。

2。2Years In

You've been able to maintain a Sharpe of 1.3 the last quarter. Most of your success has been around shorting the utilities stocks. However, one day, WSJ reportedthat Carl Icahnshowed interest in taking a minority stake in FirstEnergy (FE), your biggest short position. For the first time all year, this Ohio-based electricity stock actually moves more than 10 basis points and shoots up 15% within 15 seconds from the Icahn news. That same day, Home Depot missed earnings (even though your favoriteUBSanalyst was bullish) and Elon Musk tweeted that Tesla's stock was too high in his opinion. Suddenly, your book is down 25% and Sharpe bleeds to a 0.7.

2。4Years In

您很失业并开始思考，在卖方方面的工作并不是那么糟糕。他们的工作稳定性更好，您很想覆盖您的领域。但是，看来所有的卖方都已经意识到您的职业倒台，并且更喜欢提供更好的简历的候选人。“谁需要华尔街？”，您厌恶地宣布，“我已经完成了高金融。无论如何，市场都是有效的。”您开始阅读Eugene Fama，并经常与您的大学教授联系，向他们询问财务部门的任何助理教学机会。

这就是方式。