How to act when seniors flip out?

What do you do when seniors lose their shit, get frustrated, and start yelling? With wfh I just took out my AirPods and put my phone in my pocket but now I'm in the office and now have to sit there. Am I supposed to just sit there and tune them out? I don't take anything they say personally and 90% of the time I'm not really sure why there are upset (ex: randomly start freaking out about how a page "I put together" looks like shit. It's an off the shelf league table that we use every week).

I was a collegiate athlete so I'm used people freaking out, but at least then it was over losing and not over me using the wrong font or date format (not a mind reader… I was just using the firm pitch book best practices). Do I just sit there and nod?

Comments (19

2021年10月29日- 8:52pm
CHItizen, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Unfortunately as an analyst, it is kinda tough / awkward to call them out on inappropriate behavior due to 1) how hierarchical banking is, and 2) the fact that you're really only going to be there for like 2 years (i.e. they view you as disposable). You also probably feel like you put a ton of effort and investment into getting this job, and you don't just want to let it go. Nothing wrong with that BTW, but if it really bothers you, might be time to jump ship. It's a hot market, and I promise you not every senior is a raging asshole. If you're the type who can let it roll off your back, then I would do my stint and then get out and just know that this guy is freaking out over nothing likely because of a combination of insecurity / inflated ego / lack of emotional maturity (also likely tired/frustrated, but those aren't valid excuses).

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  • Analyst 1IB- gen
2021年10月29日 - 9:10 pm

人们实际上对你大喊大叫吗?

Nobody has ever yelled at me in banking... tbh I think if someone yelled at me, I would look at him dubitative and say "seriously?" And then proceed to not do shit for them for the rest of the deal. Or maybe bring it up to the staffer / COO and if they don't do anything about it make it public. Also make sure everyone in your class know this guy is trash and nobody work with him.

People who tell you it's ok are wrong, it's not OK to yell at someone. I can't even imagine someone yelling at me tbh, it's out of my reality

Nov 1, 2021 - 11:36am
Willd28, what's your opinion? Comment below:
[Comment removed by mod team]
2021年11月4日至8:20 pm
杰夫·斯基林, what's your opinion? Comment below:

发生在我和一位高级分析师身上,我今年早些时候与他们配备了员工。

Talked to our staffers about it, they backed us up, and if the behavioral 180 and level of ass kissing are any indication, I'm guessing what happened was - best case - doucher VP got ripped 4 or 5 new assholes from our grouphead or - worst case - doucher VP will be getting a "fuck you" bonus in January and shown the door.

Bit of an apples/oranges situation being an associate but food for thought nonetheless.

  • Analyst 2IB- Cov
oct 31, 2021 - 2:07am

I only ever got yelled at once by an MD at my old job and stopped having respect for her. This is unacceptable by all means fyi.

Sometimes MDs get agressive and send or say things that can be offensive or basically mean: "you are a dumb fuck". The response depends on what they say - if the thing is small or it is completely your fault, you say thanks for comment, will update and noted for the future. Apologize and own it if you screw up. But if it is something more substantial - comp set or direction of the model, you have to say we did x based our understanding of y and using z as a reference. Thanks for clarifying. We will update now to a,b and c. Did that capture all your comments? You're not supposed to babysit senior bankers, their issue if they can't control their frustration, you are supposed to acknowledge the changed and communicate the new action item. At this point if you have a decent vp or associate thats where they should be stepping in and making sure everyone is aligned.

Again- no one is supposed to treat you like shit. Save emails with any offensive language

  • InternPE - LBOs
oct 31, 2021 - 11:14am
[Comment removed by mod team]
  • NAIB-M&A
Nov 1, 2021 - 4:50am

曾与女性老年人有类似的经历,她会在视频聊天中发表讽刺的评论,基本上称我们为愚蠢。同样不确定如何进行,工作人员似乎不在乎这些

最有趣的
Nov 1, 2021 - 1:28pm
CollierV, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Call me a misogynist, but there is no way I'm getting bullied by a woman.

  • Associate 2咨询
Nov 4, 2021 - 11:28pm

Had this experience myself and it basically drove myself and a number of other colleagues away from the firm. Not sure what she intended to achieve by belittling, berating, and not expressing any sort of appreciation for quality work, but oh well :).

  • Associate 3re-通讯
2021年11月1日至下午1:32

Never been straight up yelled at and wouldn't tolerate it if it did happen. I've certainly been blasted for mistakes, but it wasn't unhinged yelling for no good reason.

It might take some time to muster the courage, but if you have grounds to argue back, you should. If you want to be treated with respect and more like a peer than a subordinate, you need to act like it. There's certainly a degree of whining you may need to tolerate, but the more you allow someone to make personal attacks on you, the more it'll happen because you're signaling to them that you neither disagree with them, nor does it bother you enough to say something.

It's like what people say about bullying in grade school: if you stand up for yourself just once, often times, the bully leaves you alone going forward. Similarly, most people taking martial arts for self defense don't end up using it. They carry themselves with confidence that makes them less of a target, so they encounter less conflict.

编辑:有一个与MD有关不合理的同行,(高级)分析师最终与“您可以找到另一位分析师”击中了他,这是一个技巧。他们再也没有一起工作了,都很好。

Nov 1, 2021 - 3:09pm
NuclearPenguins, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Had a nightmare VP / Principal in my old group who would legit have temper tantrums in his office - screaming, swearing, chucking pitchbooks against the wall. Basically just always tried to keep a straight face, nod and say "ok" until he calmed down. This guy did this with every single junior on the team and was the least desirable person to work with, somehow was kept around despite multiple complaints to the group head from various individuals on the team. Dude eventually slipped up and put some things in writing that then resulted in an actual reprimand and he was forced to chill out a bit for a while.

Nov 4, 2021 - 3:50pm
wdadwa, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Awkward. I had a senior throw their notebook on the floor once...can't remember why they flipped at me but I do vaguely recall I don't think I'm 100% at fault. He apologised that he lost control afterwards and we were cool...I don't work for him anymore but we still keep in contact and I trained his son when he was interning too.

other times I had MD's/Seniors being very passive aggressive but nothing in my face. I just ignore it and swallow my pride.

  • InternIB- gen
2021年11月4日 - 10:05 pm

When I was a sophomore SA at a lower MM firm, I had an AN1 yell at me during a networking happy hour event in front of the whole team. The guy was super stressed and took it out on me. Was a bit awkward but I took the high route and played it off as nothing happened.

  • VPIB- gen
2021年11月4日至10:37 PM

Stand up and calmly, politely inquire if they would like to continue utilizing that tone outside.

Nov 6, 2021 - 1:01am
人本, what's your opinion? Comment below:

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