So I've had this hunch for a while and wanted to get others thoughts. Before you think I'm crazy and sleep deprived just look at the evidence I am about to bestow upon you all.
over the past year I've been growing suspicious that my MD is a vampire... There are several reasons that have begun to bring me to this conclusion, which I have included, below:
(i) I have never seen him sleep and his email correspondence does not leave gaps in which one could conclude that he sleeps (e.g. emails all day with no major gaps in correspondence
(ii) I've noticed a direct correlation that the more well rested the junior bankers are the more his skin has a slightly grey-ish tone to it (e.g. could he be sustaining his immortality on our suffering? Just proposing the question here...)
(iii) I have never seen him walk past a mirror nor do we have any in the office, which seems odd no?
（iv）他是主要银行家（想想的负责人IBat elite boutique) and had over 30 yrs of experience andMBAbut looks as if he is late 30s. Yet no look of any cosmetic procedures having been completed. Couple with the fact that there are never doctor appointments this portends to an almost ageless effect of the stressful nature of the job which seems dubious at best.
（v）即使不是晴天，他也会始终在外面戴太阳镜。有趣的是，他似乎非常喜欢室内。
现在我没有这样的证据，但我相信他可以有一个血男孩...
鉴于这些发现，我已经购买了大蒜药物开始服用，但是我不确定是否还应该把一些放在桌子上以避免星期五晚上的消防演习...
Thoughts?
＃1 2018的首要讨论
Comments (37）
向人力资源报告您的怀疑。他们应该被提醒。
I'm concerned about potential retaliation... I'll report back on if the garlic is an effective deterrent. I'm also thinking about bringing a cross to my desk as well, unsure if a metal one will suffice so I'm checking online for wooden variations...
What ethnicity is he?
我不确定，尽管他可能是犹太血统。
Probably Romanian
- 354manbetx
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354manbetx1
You're a creature of the night, Michael. Just like out of a comic book. You're a vampire, Michael! My own MD, a goddamn shit-sucking vampire! You wait 'til Mom finds out, buddy!
it's called cocaine you moron
He'd look older, not younger
也许他生活在敌人的血统上。
That, and the misery of underlings.
You just made my day.
Just remember you're safe in your cube as long as you don't invite him in. Would also recommend having your smartwater blessed by a priest, and sharpening a few "extra pencils" just in case. Godspeedbabyygotwacc
请他咬你。无论如何，您已经是他的痛苦了，当您不朽时，80多个小时以上的周似乎不会那么糟糕。
什么，然后拿走他保证从奴役中释放的？
所以这发生了
Vampires are from royal family, that's why they can bring deals, your boss being the head is self-explanatory. Respect the minority
Call Wesley Snipes.
仅基于这篇文章和您的手柄，您的才华浪费在银行业务中 - 请让WSJ赞助您作为专栏作家Matt Levine
Dude, you're going to start taking garlic pills, and risk your bonus?!
Just love this thread. Basically sums up my office mood.
尝试杀死蝙蝠，然后将其留在他的桌子上。如果他吓坏了，他绝对是吸血鬼。
They should make a True Blood series about this. HBO would love it.
"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee
(iii) I have never seen him walk past a mirror nor do we have any in the office, which seems odd no?
Have you followed him to the bathroom?
What took you so long? The D in MD obviously stands for Dracula.
made new unrelated account - dont reply or message as i never use it.
德古拉先生？
Starts earlier than that:
VP = Vampire Pledge
MD = Master Dracula
hahahaha
made new unrelated account - dont reply or message as i never use it.
omg is he is a real vampire ?? :0 :0
您的医学博士是吸血鬼？短vix。
What concert costs 45 cents? 50 Cent feat. Nickelback.
圣诞节前的爱噩梦大声笑
Regarding the sunglasses... should I assume that 'normal' (cough）people view me as a vampire too?
Also, I need not be a vampire to freak out when I sense garlic in the office.
Cool stuff
Best check if he has any foe went missing...those vampire fang could come really handy in banking...
顺便说一句,你在法国英航nk? the "no?" used in interrogative sentence give me this feeling. A french vampire MD, Oh la la...
。
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在他的门下滑动一瓶血。第二天早上检查。如果已将其归还为空，则有答案。
Also check if the late-night office cleaning crew has had people go missing.
"Work ethic, work ethic" - Vince Vaughn
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