Is anyone able to be themselves at work?

My company is thinking about coming back into the office in June/July and honestly I'd rather quit than come back. I'm the youngest in the office and because of that, I have to act professional all the time. Is this normal to have to put on a facade all the time or is my work culture just not a fit for me?

Comments (30)

May 11, 2021 - 12:40pm
2rigged2fail, what's your opinion? Comment below:

yeah think the majority of people do. office politics. I cant stand it and definitely struggle with it.

can't stand brown noser's either.
thats part of the reason I will start my own business in a few years.

May 11, 2021 - 2:46pm
YoungLev, what's your opinion? Comment below:

It's not a crime to have a personality but you have to remain professional in the work environment. Feel free to crack an appropriate joke or two, or to talk about your favorite sports team.

Save the crazy stories from your weekend for your friends out of work.

Re: Sycophants - they exist in every workplace. Who knows, your boss might hate them as much as you do. The thing is, everyone has to remain professional and cordial even if they think their colleague is a humungous douche canoe.

May 12, 2021 - 2:02pm
Redman_Official, what's your opinion? Comment below:

同意了。我试着看前卫笑话别人的made, then take a few large steps back when I decide if something is safe for work.

Sports/travel/weather are good water cooler chat, which often lets you buddy up with people and then you can start opening up more.

Just my 2 cents

May 12, 2021 - 2:22pm
IncomingIBDreject, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Not unless you're woke.

Array

  • 2
最有帮助的
May 12, 2021 - 2:39pm
thebrofessor, what's your opinion? Comment below:

no, I'm not able to be my true unfiltered self. I can't get philosophical with idiots, can't talk about recreational drug use with clients (may or may not be in the past), racial issues with anyone (because I don't toe the line), or talk about how foolish most financial data actually is with anyone.

that said, I don't go to work for that, I have friends, family, and a wife for that. work is work, I love what I do, and it gives me most everything I want (except fuggin compliance and insurance training GUH). as you get more confident, the facade will wear off. you will always have to be professional, polite, tactful, and appropriate, but the "facade" will become less and less of an issue the further you advance.

disclaimer: I've never done office politics as I've always been a revenue generator so you're kinda separate from that. I probably wouldn't be employed if I had to navigate that, so your experience may be different from mine

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  • Anonymous Monkey's picture
  • Anonymous Monkey
  • Rank:Chimp
May 12, 2021 - 5:58pm
Anonymous Monkey, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Though it's been some time since I've last been in an office, I thought overall I was able to be myself

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  • Anonymous Monkey's picture
  • Anonymous Monkey
  • Rank:Chimp
May 12, 2021 - 6:53pm
Anonymous Monkey, what's your opinion? Comment below:
May 13, 2021 - 2:31pm
Isaiah_53_5, what's your opinion? Comment below:

lol

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

  • 1
May 12, 2021 - 10:29pm
jarstar1, what's your opinion? Comment below:

When I worked in construction I could barely hold a casual conversation with my colleagues because the cultural differences were so great. I'm pretty sure for the first project I was on (which lasted 18 months), the only thing me and the rest of the team had in common was we were men. The next team wasn't as bad, but I was always much closer with the architects than my colleagues, one of the big reasons I left the industry. I'm not 100% of where my current colleagues are at since I started virtually and haven't had too much time for small talk, but from what I've seen so far it'll be better. I definitely don't shy away from being who I am, I will freely discuss my thoughts on a variety of topics even if people disagree with them, the sole exception being politics. It just isn't worth it.

May 15, 2021 - 11:51am
Malta, what's your opinion? Comment below:

I had a similar experience with construction. I enjoyed holding conversations with the architects quite a lot. The guys on the job site- never really connected. I could not hold a single conversation about literally anything with them.

They'd rotate between which "golf chick" they'd all bang, Trump/ QAnon bs, and how much they hated their wives. It was weird.

“The three most harmful addictions are heroin, carbohydrates, and a monthly salary.” - Nassim Taleb
  • 1
May 15, 2021 - 3:42pm
famejranc, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Malta

They'd rotate between which "golf chick" they'd all bang, Trump/ QAnon bs, and how much they hated their wives. It was weird.

based

  • VPinIB-M&A
2021年5月17日- 2:30pm

I feel the opposite. Anyone with a pinch of relationship management skills can find things to talk about with people of vastly different socio-economic and educational strata. You don't have to be an expert in modern stock car racing or be able to list the members of World Championship Wrestling's nWo stable during the summer of 1998, but if you can't find at least some common ground between you and the blue collar or working poor--at least enough to have a single conversation aboutsomething(sports, food, movies, etc.)--you might just be socially awkward and/or a snob.

  • Analyst 1inIB-M&A
May 13, 2021 - 5:43pm

Not really as my group isn't very ethnically diverse... all white men

May 14, 2021 - 5:35am
tiredanalyst, what's your opinion? Comment below:

Tbh would recommend making sure you're pretty much always remaining professional in the office at your/our level. MDs and EDs can do what they want and it's fine (within societal limits) because they're your boss.

Am having to work with a cocky as hell analyst a year below me atm, who is not only absolutely awful at his work but has basically no manners or sense of humility.

May 14, 2021 - 8:56am
GoldenCinderblock, what's your opinion? Comment below:

I run my own business and I can't be myself either to varying degrees. There's one me for dealing with tenants, another me for dealing with contractors, another me for dealing with clients, and so on. I don't pretend to be someone I'm not. I just say a lot less than I think. So it's that form of repression. But it's farrrrr less stifling than when I had to sit in a corporate environment where neither my real self nor any of my fake selves could ever be accepted.

I think it is true though that we tend to have more in common with any given person than we think. So if you focus on that instead of your differences, it's a lot easier to build rapport and win people's trust.

现在我在想——我甚至完全我自己和我wife? I'm not even fully myself here. Am I even fully honest with myself? Nah no way. Nobody can know how crazy I truly am. I'm doing a fantastic job of holding it together. You people don't even understand the half of it.

heister:

Look at all these wannabe richies hating on an expensive salad.

https://arthuxtable.com/
  • 3
May 14, 2021 - 3:07pm
Isaiah_53_5, what's your opinion? Comment below:

GoldenCinderblock

Am I even fully honest with myself? Nah no way. Nobody can know how crazy I truly am. I'm doing a fantastic job of holding it together. You people don't even understand the half of it.

haha nice

"If you always put limits on everything you do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them." - Bruce Lee

  • 1
May 17, 2021 - 9:29am
thebrofessor, what's your opinion? Comment below:

GoldenCinderblock

Nobody can know how crazy I truly am. I'm doing a fantastic job of holding it together. You people don't even understand the half of it.

don't take this the wrong way, one of my closest friends is also Ukrainian, I know exactly what you mean. he'll give glimpses of what's in there sometimes, and it's always interesting, but I can tell he keeps a lot bottled up

May 14, 2021 - 9:28am
Leverage Hero, what's your opinion? Comment below:

There is a baseline standard of acceptable behavior in an office environment. You are allowed to have personality, but it is probably not a cultural fit for you if you are the youngest by a wide margin. Personally, I need to be around at least 1-2 people near my age to make a place tolerable but I know others who could care less.

May 14, 2021 - 9:44am
Bizkitgto, what's your opinion? Comment below:

No, and don't even try. Withhate speechconstantly being redefined you never know what can come back and hit you (some video of you making a joke goes viral a social media). Anything you say can be interpreted the wrong way, and HR is there to protect the company, not you, never forget that. Also know, these days, your behavior away from the office can impact your employment status (which is why you should consider deleting your Facebook account).

May 15, 2021 - 2:23pm
PrivateTechquity GME+BBBY, what's your opinion? Comment below:

I've never sought to hide my personality in interviews or from teammates, I'm very much a "hate him or love him" type. I wouldn't be surprised if that's what got me dinged in my interviews at more left-leaning firms up until I came across my current role and just jived with the GP and MD perfectly. To be fair though, it helps that it's a smaller team with high AUM per head and 0 HR people to put up with.

Array

  • Analyst 1inS&T - Equities
May 15, 2021 - 2:45pm

Did you doIBprior?

  • Analyst 1inS&T - Equities
May 15, 2021 - 2:44pm

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May 17, 2021 - 5:42pm
NB574, what's your opinion? Comment below:

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